First thing tomorrow morning, I will be topically numbed and then pricked thousands of times on my face by tiny needles. Then, I’ll be slathered with hyaluronic acid and pricked some more. Then I’ll be wrapped up like a mummy. It’s going to be a real party!! Good times and noodle salad.

Trust me, micro-needling does work wonders. Radio frequency treatments and Botox definitely do more, and I don’t mind admitting that I also take advantage of said procedures. However, those things don’t sound nearly as dramatic as this procedure, and I’m aiming to convey the sick desperation with which we attempt to cling to our ‘youth’ here. Because it is a little bit of a sickness, is it not?

Hello, vanity. My old friend.

PS: Points to anyone who recognised the 1980s children’s movie still (set as the main image) for this post!