“It takes a very long time to become young.”

First thing tomorrow morning, I will be topically numbed and then pricked thousands of times on my face by tiny needles. Then, I’ll be slathered with hyaluronic acid and pricked some more. Then I’ll be wrapped up like a mummy. It’s going to be a real party!! Good times and noodle salad.

Trust me, micro-needling does work wonders. I know what I’m doing here, folks.

Hello, vanity. My old friend.